I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My pussy is not your playground.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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