shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
