He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
