Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
