take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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