i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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