i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
