Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize