not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It's official drugs can't kill me
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
