Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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