you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
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I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
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I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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