I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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