If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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