Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
