You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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