Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
