White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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