She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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