If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
