yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He felt like a one man threesome
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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