I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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