Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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