Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize