i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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