8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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