The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
