But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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