Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
