Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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