i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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