good thing vaginas are great cup holders
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize