omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
