he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
