paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
