Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
