Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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