whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
