anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
