So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
