gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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