yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
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