Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
