I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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