the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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