I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize