My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
