did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
