yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
