There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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