Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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