His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
