I must be too annoying 4 u.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
