Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
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It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
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I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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